not another one

Just been on facebook, another school friend announces her pregnancy.......she's 3 months away from welcoming her baby to this World, and i'm still waiting. I'm getting anxious now, its all I wanted for Christmas....I've been a good girl, why haven't I been given my baby, why do I have to wait so long? I want a baby bump, an expression of love between my husband and I. I feel awful every month, when am I finally going to be able to say, 'we did it, we've got a baby on the way'. Feel like a failure as a wife, I can't produce, I can't give him what other woman can, he deserves more. If its a family he wants, then maybe he should find someone fertile. Whats the poing of this life if I can't even produce an offspring, am I a 'half woman'?

Christmas isn't Christmas without Kids

As much as I enjoyed spending Christmas with my nearest and dearest, it just doesn't feel right without kids.....I would've loved to have been woken up at the crack of dawn by an excited child "to see what Father Christmas left".........

could it be something so simple?

Have given into my desire to know everything there is about conceiving......and made an interesting discovery, some lubricants contain spermicides.....i always assumed they didn't. I've read up a little about 'conceive plus' two week wait is nearly up, if its negative i'll be straight down the shops.....but maybe I won't be, maybe i'll be stuck at home with morning sickness......I never thought I'd favour hanging over a toilet more than going shopping. I guess its just a side effect of this addiction, the desire to have a family, hear the pitter patter of little feet. One thing I know for sure is that this little baby(with own timescale) is going to be very loved. I just wish you'd join us sooner.

Facebook

Seems the Stork has been very busy lately and delivering the most gorgeous babies to friends........and foe......

Can't help to wonder how much of a better mother I'd be than them, what makes a good mother? How can the "no care in the World", rude, obnoxious, bully from school be blessed with a baby?

Our 2nd Wedding Anniversary

Our anniversary today. Really hoping thats what our little tadpole was waiting for. Went into Mamas and Papas yesterday, just to have a look at the really cute stuff, finding it really hard not to stock up on stuff for "one day".