Not trying, not preventing

The husband has spoken, he does not want to try anymore, cue tears on wifes part.

After a long hard chat, it turns out he meant, not trying but not preventing.

Theres still a glimmer of hope!

There is a plan

We going to be trying again in May. So its time to get ready.

I've ordered some "Conceive Plus" from Amazon, it came with some ovulation tests and pregnancy test, a bargain at £14.29. I also ordered some "Conception Vitamins". I'm toying with the idea of temping. I don't want to get too obsessive, but I really want a baby soon. Maybe I'll see how we get on for a month or two before uping it a notch.

If all had gone to plan.....

If all had gone to plan, I'd be waddling around, wouldn't be able to see my feet and preparing to meet my baby in a few days. But alas, here I sit, not pregnant.

There are pregnant woman and babies everywhere, more by the day.

Sometimes it really gets me down, sometimes it doesn't.

Due to financial reasons, we've decided to put "Operation Baby" on hold for 2 or 3 months. And to be honest, its been good. I still "stalk" the TTC forums, but it doesn't take over my life like it was. But in saying that, I plan to try all the tricks when we start trying again!

I know that waiting a couple of months makes sense in the long run, but secretly deep down I'm hoping for a "little mistake".

What kind of status is this?

How can I feel so many emotions in just one facebook status:

Im EXPECTING !!! I know, i know, its crazy isn't it? I can't believe it myself. I was not going to put it on here because its obvious but wanted to make it official... I mean who would have guessed .... they said it wouldn't happen!! Yup its official... We are expecting rain tonight and again tomorrow !!! Re-post if you have any sense of humour!!! :)

This is what happened in my head when I read it........oh no, not you as well, yes its crazy, you're a "career woman", of course it wasn't obvious you smug cow. Rain??? Sense of Humour??? That wasn't funny, in fact I feel like a took several steps back. You aren't even trying to fall pregnant and you think its a joke, just wait till one day when you realise how difficult it can be.

groundhog day

another friend announces her pregnancy on Facebook........enough all ready

I'm not a mummy

Sometimes I feel theres a "secret club", I'm not invited, the doors been slammed in my face, I don't have the essential ticket to get in.....a baby. I'm not a mum, I don't get up 6 times in the night, I don't change nappies, I don't know what to do about nappy rash. I'm excluded. A bystander, I smile and tell them there baby is the most gorgeous baby I've seen. Its a lie, I know my baby will be......thats if I ever get one.

I want a baby so badly that I'm falling apart

I want this baby more than anything in the World.

My husband is being "sensible" and says that as we've had a change in circumstances, baby isn't a good idea right now. I'm dying inside. I don't want to admit he is right, things could work out in the end.....they always do.

I want us to be a happy family. Is that too much to ask?